Not My Circus is the latest installation in a series of memoirs by Niami, each focusing on a particular segment of her life. She shares lessons from the complexities of human relationships and personal struggles. While the author details the fun and raucous exploits as a young single person growing up in the 1980s, the narrative of healing stood out for me. Not My Circus is a compelling read because of the author’s unique storytelling style, even if the subject matter could be triggering to others. Niami’s use of dialogue enhances storytelling by authentically conveying emotions and tensions while also providing insights into personalities and dynamics. She tells of the experience in gritty detail, yet it is not cringy. Her telling of past trauma is raw and honest, full of heart. It is a testament to the impact of trauma on one’s present and future.
Another highlight of the book is how Niami found her bearings in LGBTQ+ politics and advocacy, sparked by struggles with identity, acceptance, and empowerment. As a lesbian, Niami details her interactions with LGBTQ+ communities at the height of the AIDS epidemic. She also details her observations of injustices faced by the LGBTQ+ community, encountering discrimination and societal stigma. This journey of self-discovery, resilience, and the need for equality and acceptance played a significant role in shaping the author’s passion for LGBTQ+ rights. She writes candidly about the faults in her relationships, challenging family dynamics, moments of self-doubt, and the often-elusive quest for self-compassion and self-acceptance.
The art of the memoir allows one to take an honest look at the past. This is not always done well because memories tend to gloss over the agonizing parts. Depending on the author’s intent, the story of transformation may seem linear. In Not My Circus, readers understand nothing is straightforward about the challenges of emotional turmoil and recovering from trauma. Niami was honest about the arduous process of overcoming emotional and mental health challenges to realize personal growth and well-being.